"You write what? Romance!" the couple said in unison. With
their eyes twinkling and silly grins on their faces they
snickered and sneered for a moment. "So, do you use your husband for the sex
scenes?" the man asked while his significant other stood there giggling with her hand
over her mouth.
I retained a serious expression on my face and held my hands firmly at my sides to keep
from smacking them both on the side of their pointed, little heads. "Yes,"
I said, "I write romance."
Their smiles faded for the moment. "So how many books have you had
published?"
"I'm not published yet, but I'm close."
"Oh," the woman said. "Why don't you try writing a mystery or a
thriller. You know, like John Grisham or James Patterson or somebody like that.
You'd probably be able to get published writing those types of books."
I gritted my teeth and pushed my frustration down to a level that allowed me to breathe.
"I don't write thrillers and mysteries because I'm a romance writer and I love
writing romance."
The guy snickered again. "Yeah, but the stories are all the same aren't they?
All they do is kiss and have sex. Why not write something that has some
meaning to it?"
At this point, steam was all but pouring out of my ears, but I kept my cool and decided it
was my duty to set these poor, misguided people straight. "Obviously, you've
never read a romance or you would realize that there is so much more to a romance than
kissing and sex. A romance is about two people finding their one true love, their
soul mate, the person who fills their life and heart with unbridled joy. The romance
writer's job is more difficult than writing in other genres because we have to--"
"Yeah, right," the man said. "How difficult can it be to write about
sex?"
"Our job is very difficult and it's not about sex. The sales of romance novels
far exceed any of the other genres. I'm a member of an organization called The
Romance Writers of America. They have a national conference every year in a
different city. More than 2,000 writers, agents, editors and publishers attend.
I'm going this year for the first time," I said with a smile.
"Sounds like a waste of time to me. A bunch of women standing around talking
about romance," the guy said followed by
a snort.
A feeling of resignation flooded through me. I glanced toward the nearest wall and
felt like beating my head against it. I was never going to get through to them.
"I feel sorry for you," I said, "because it's obvious that neither
of you have any romance in your life. Your lives must be awfully dull and empty, not
to mention the fact that you're both expressing opinions about a genre that you know
nothing about."
Their snickers and sneers disappeared.
Does every person you meet respond in the same way when you tell them you are a romance
writer? Of course not. There are those people who are genuinely interested,
even fascinated that you are a writer. These are the people who bring a spot of
sunshine to your day, the people who feed your soul with their nice comments, the people
who help you put fuel under the fire of your dream. The writer's life is not an easy
journey. And yet we continue on our journey despite almost impossible odds.
Why?
For me, part of the answer lies in the following quote from our twenty-sixth president,
Theodore Roosevelt:
"It is not the critic who counts, nor the man who points out how the strong man
stumbled, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs
to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood;
who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; who knows great
enthusiasms, great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who, at the best,
knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who, at the worst, if he fails, at
least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those timid souls
who know neither victory nor defeat."
Cher Gorman has been writing seriously since 1994 and has recently won three awards.
She is actively working toward her first sale.
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