Like many of you I struggled to find my writer’s voice. With a few
simple tricks I turned a passive voice into an active voice. If your words tell a story
rather than show it, you may want to get out your highlighter and follow along:
- —ly: Adverbs distract from the action. Eliminate the need for them with action
verbs. Instead of: “She went quickly...” try: “She hurried...” or
“She bolted...” An action verb creates a picture for the reader. The right
action verb creates an exact picture for the reader. “Hurried” and
“bolted” both imply quickness, but each creates it’s own mental image.
- —ing: Verbs ending in “ing” describe unfinished action. Use them only for
that purpose. Eliminate the need f or the complex verb form “was --ing” with
action verbs. Instead of: “She was climbing...” try: “She climbed...”
The complex verb form “was climbing” pushes the reader out of the picture. While
the action verb “climbed” pulls the reader in.
- —ed: Verbs ending in “ed” describe finished action. When writing In third
person past tense they can im ply immediate action. Use them for clear mental images and
stronger sentences.
- —was, were, had, and have in their complex verb form can be eliminated to make the
sentence stronger. Instead of: “...was gone...” or “...had gone...”
try: “...gone...”
- —that and which can often be eliminated. When not hold ing up the sentence, they
make it sound formal and stilted. Instead of: “She realized that she stared...”
try: “She realized she stared...” or “She stared...”
- —the is probably the most over used word. Try eliminat ing it. Instead of:
“The tears welled in her eyes...” try: “Tears welled in her eyes...”
- —if, and, or, but. Sentences using conjunctions are often stronger broken in two.
Instead of: “She loved him, but he hated her.” try: “She loved him. He
hated her.”
- —n’t and not are negative. Try turning a sentence around to make it positive.
Instead of: “She was not in favor of letting him...” try: “She hated
letting him...” or “She hated to let him...”
Before you mark up your manuscript--remember there’s no one rule of thumb for
every writer. Take what works for you and disregard the rest.
Rogenna W. Brewer is the founding president of The Heart of Denver Romance Writers. Her
manuscript Puss In Boots, placed first in The Heart of the Rockies contest and The
Frogman, Prince, placed first in The Love In Uniform contest.
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